Q's & A's {Ask Cassandra}

Hello there sweets!!  I took a breather from social media this week and over the weekend; it was much needed. I want to truly focus on what matters and keeping my head looking forward to see what goodness comes my way, rather than buried in my phone looking down. This week's installment of Questions & Answers are some goodies that I really enjoyed chatting about with friends & colleagues.  I can't tell you how much I love, love reading them and connecting with you all. It warms my heart and makes me want to just do a happy dance!

This week's questions:

"My fiance' and I {decided} to postpone our wedding. I am really freaking out and embarrassed: how and what do we tell people?"          -Diane, NY

This may surprise you; but my husband and I postponed our wedding. My May couple, postponed their wedding. It happens. The first step you need to take, is to let everyone know about your decision. Do not use e-mail. If you need friends and family to help with phone calls, go for it; but every guest needs to know ASAP. If you haven't sent out save-the-date's or invitations, then a phone call is completely sufficient. If you have sent out invitations, a postponement card, would be proper traditional etiquette. It's also; always a nice touch. Something simply stating "due to unforeseen circumstances", or "due to an illness in the family" and saying you will announce a new date ASAP. To give you an idea here is a pic of our announcement cards looked like this: (I added the sparkles and ribbon with some DIY magic before they were mailed out to guests)

If you are in the planning stage between save-the-dates and invitations; sending a postponement announcement is optional and your call. I always recommend sending something, even a handwritten card - it's just a nice gesture to your guests. Everyone's circumstances are different - choosing to postpone is always difficult - it was for us - even for a happy (& long awaited) reason.

"I'm not sure if I want to change my last name once we are married; is it wrong to keep your maiden name?"    - Jessie, Chicago

To change your name or not? So many brides are torn about this question. I reached out to some of my sweet and lovely social media friends and received these responses:

"Kept my name, but never planned to. When the time came to change it, something inside me said to keep my maiden name. My parents are divorced, and I don't have any brothers, so it just felt right"

"Taking his! I think it adds family dynamic. I wan{t to} be able to say the Denton's."

The decision to change your name or not, is a very personal one and varies from one bride to another. For me; I couldn't wait to take on this new identity, share his last name and to be a "Dattoli." For a long time, my maiden name just didn't fit with me - it's like it wasn't who I was suppose to be. Now with my husband's last name; I feel like it just "fits", as if I am finally the person I was born to be. Maybe it's cheesy, maybe its all fantasized in my head - but it's how I feel when I say it & it's how I feel when I write it. I see a lot of people saying: "it binds you as a family to have the same last name." I don't disagree - but I also believe what truly binds you as a family - is the love you share and the commitment you keep to each other. Whether you decide to hyphen your maiden & married name, keep your maiden name or take on your husband's last name; is a decision only you can make. It's not permanent, you can always change it later - and change it again if you don't like it. However you feel, that will be the right decision. You are not less married by keeping your maiden name, nor are you more married by taking his last name. Whatever decision you make; do what feels right to you.

Big hugs and thank yous to my sweet brides for sending in their questions. If you have a question you'd like to send me, hit me with your best shot at cass@cassandradattoli.com. For last week's Q's & A's click here.

OUR FIRST HOME {Chateau Dattoli: Part II}

Oh friends! JD and I are just over 30 days from moving into our very first home! Every time I see our yard with the builders sign saying sold; it just makes my heart flutter. Today's Instalove Friday: a peek into our first home! I thought today would be a good day for the second part of Our First Home. Let's do this, shall we?

Just a sec – {happy dance!!} So many have asked about following along on this journey with us so here's the second part of hopefully a sort of "tour de Dattoli" as we go through this process. I have to admit that this has been sooo incredibly exciting for JD and I. We really, really just got so darn lucky in finding this lot and our builder. We hope you find a little excitement in this too : )  For the most part, here's what she's 'gonna look like!

And there she is! Isn't she just a beauty! We really wanted a 2-story, with lots of bedrooms – but we are super happy to have this, until we can afford our dream home with a full basement and 3 car garage and lots of yard. We can't have it all right to start with, so we compromised on the basement and extra garage for a gorgeous house and large yard.The exterior will be natural limestone in grays and whites all around the garage, front door and first set of windows. The rest will be horizontal, and vertical "siding". All of the trim will be a crisp bright white, and we are nixing shutters – we just aren't fans. Our front door is going to be beautiful! It will be a crisp white, with nearly all Tuscany glass – with matching Tuscany glass sidelites. Eeep! We are so incredibly blessed.

There's been quite a few changes to the plans and lots of little extras: like the sun room, moving the fireplace, changing the kitchen up, and changing the garage from a 3 car to a 2 car with an extra bay. It's technically classified as a 2 car garage, but we will be able to fit almost 4 in there – and JD will still have lots of room to tinker.

Because so many changes have been made; here is a simplified version of the above.

I know, I know… it's a lot of space. Everything is very open, spacious and there will be so much natural light from all the windows. The space is an open living concept, and is truly a big reason JD and I loved it so much. The garage is a little bit intense, but it gives us plenty of space to fit our cars and his squad car in; plus give JD plenty of room to tinker and organize all his manly stuff. As you walk in from the garage our laundry/mud room and little powder room is right off the garage. I just love having these close to the garage so JD can wash up before tracking oil or dirt into the rest of the house. Coming into our home from the front door is the foyer, you see the big open-living room, and the giant floor to ceiling stone fireplace in the corner; then to the left will be the kitchen, and dining room and lots of large windows. I truly love all the windows in our home, the sunlight streams in, bathing the whole house in sunny goodness. From the dining room will be (EEEEP!) 2 beautiful white, all-glass French doors that open to a very large, cathedral ceiling sun room. (I think I just fainted.) A sun room, me? I'm in heaven. I am planning to take over the sun-room as my Girl cave; and the all new Cassandra Dattoli Studio and Shop. A tour of which will go live as soon as it's all completed. The sun room leads off to our covered deck. The larger of the two extra bedrooms will be a guest bedroom for any visitors chancing a stay with us and they will have their own bathroom just across the hall, so they feel right at home. The smaller bedroom – will be the future home of a nursery, should God bless us with a little Baby D. Our walk-in closet is a little ridiculous – it's basically another bedroom. But we wanted a space to store all of our items in an organized fashion as well as have a little space for me to get ready and spread out my makeup and girly items. I am simply smitten with our master bed and bath. I am in heaven with the size of our bathroom and our tall ceilings. An oversized corner- jetted tub will sit snugly in the corner for me. JD has his oversized shower with custom seating and it will be completed with wrap ceramic tiling and custom clear-glass doors.

Our lot, with the foundation being laid. Not exactly the most exciting event in the world; but everyone and everything starts somewhere. : ) We have plans and have chatted with our landscaper about a nice path, adding in some trees and a design upfront with lots of plants and flowers. JD has already given me the go-ahead (thank you babe!) to plant my peonies in front along both sides of the driveway and of course lots of pretties next to our stone mailbox that goes up soon. We've met most of our neighbors and couldn't be more excited to live in this beautiful neighborhood. The house to the right of us, is a new build and the builder is looking for buyers. If your in the area and want a crazy Greek and Italian for neighbors – check us out!

As of today – all the inside walls are covered in primer and ready to be painted. The stone-masons are laying the stonework on the fireplace today. Oh sweet friends; we are just over 30 days from our close date – and we couldn't be more excited!

Read part I, here.

Happy Friday lovelies!!

Q's & A's {Ask Cassandra}

Hello lovlies! Welcome to the first installment here at Cassandra Dattoli of Questions & Answers. A couple weeks ago I posted on lots of social media - asking for submissions for any wedding- or party-planning questions. I would really like to spark some conversation about rules and etiquette, and see everyone join in. I love helping people plan celebrations and if I can reach out and pay it forward using my God given talents as well as dreaming up some fabulous details - you betcha I'm gonna do it! If you know me, then you know I have a sweet tooth for a perfectly planned party - any reason to talk wedding - gets me fired up!

Sweet emails came in far quicker than I imagined and I have lots of material to post here for quite some time, so I think I may make this a regular weekly post: what do you think?

So first up, I chose these two questions for this week.

We have unequal numbers of groomsmen and bridesmaids; is it necessary that they  match?    (Sarah, via Facebook)

Absolutely not. The only necessary thing you need is your fiancé waiting for you at the end of the aisle; and that the people standing up with you support you and whose presence is meaningful. In fact, in my own wedding, our groomsmen outnumbered our bridesmaids. I received a comment from a guest, that she thought it was special we had two groomsmen walk the last bridesmaid up the aisle. Ask either the best man to escort the maid of honor and another bridesmaid or the last groomsmen to link arms with two bridesmaids (a lady on both arms -what a lucky guy!) or have your wedding party walk single file up the aisle. In this case, the best man starts, followed by the groomsmen, then the maid of honor, followed by the bridesmaids. If something else suits your fancy, by all means go for it. Always remember, this is your big day.

Do you have to choose a family member as your maid of honor, even if you are closer with a friend?    (Jenna, Oklahoma)

In a short breath; no. Emotions and feelings always run high in the days, months, and sometimes years leading up the wedding. It is so common for a Bride (or Groom) to be closer with a friend, than they are with family members or siblings. If feelings are concerned, and you just want to skip any would be awkwardness or strange conversation - skip the titles and list bridesmaids as just bridesmaids, and groomsmen as groomsmen. In my experience, if you know you are closer with a friend than lets say your sister who lives across the country - chances are - that she knows it too. If having a maid of honor (and explicitly listing a bridesmaid as such) is important to you, then you should start a conversation about whether or not your family member is comfortable playing such an integral role and is able to make the time and monetary commitment. At the end of they day, it is your wedding day: but Shakespeare said it best:

 "What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet." (Romeo & Juliette, II, ii, 1-2)

Thank you so much Sarah and Jenna for your questions and sweet emails. A gift from the Cassandra Shop is on it's way. Congratulations on your upcoming big days!!

I loved reading and still love reading all the questions that are landing in my inbox. If you have a question, or want a little advice, don't hesitate to contact me at cass@cassandradattoli.com. I'd also love see some comments below as to what you think and any advice you would have for these ladies. Don't be shy and join the convo!

 xoxo, Cas

Photo by the amazing, Ravetta Photography.

A LITTLE INSTALOVE FRIDAY

Happiest Valentines Day sweet friends!

I sent out the most gal pal love cards this year than I think I have ever sent out. I sent all my 2014 brides some Cassandra sugar and sent them all some lovely little cards full of best wishes for the day of love. I also sent lots of friends, family and my absolute fave vendors some valentine love too. My handsome hubbie - received one too - minus all the pink confetti.

Here's to you sweet friends and a happy valentine's day!

- much love, Cass

A LITTLE INSTALOVE FRIDAY

Ahhhhh its Friday!!

There is just something so special about black and white stripes, hot pink and blush pink that light my heart on fire! Mix a little gold in there and you've got a Cassandra milkshake coming right up!  Yesterday I blogged about accepting submissions - and today this pic makes me happy. I've already received several questions and these little boxes are filling up quite faster than I thought. My daydesigner keeps me so organized and on top of schedules - its messy - but its the first planner I have ever wanted to get messy and stick to. Whitney English is pure creative inspiration. Looking for a planner - I totally recommend it. Visit her beautiful shop here. Happy Friday my loves and Happy February!

xoxo

-Cass