OUR ANNIVERSARY 2013 + ISP UPDATE {One Year}

One year ago today I married this man. This man that I have shared my life with since January 2006. A man that I can close my eyes, hang on to and lean as far back as I can go, because I know he's got me and he's not going to let go. I think we make it look easy. I see a lot of people rolling their eyes at us at the store, because we still hold-hands, he still shamelessly tickles me in public, he still opens the car-door for me and I still put my nose in his neck to breathe in that reassurance that only he can give me.  We do make it look easy - but it's not. It so much work.  I think being a newlywed is hard. You see all these amazingly happy pictures of newlyweds plastered all over the place and you want it to be that way - all the time. But the reality is it's not that way - all the time. Everyone thinks that because you're newlyweds it's all about love and honeymooning, holding-hands and kissing. Or maybe the wedding industry and magazines paint it to be this picturesque scene of the newly married couple walking down the beach, laughing and just gloriously happy. Ha! Gloriously happy? If your like me .. your thinking ... what the hell does that mean? Where's the realistic ads about how you want to claw his eyes out the first time you sit on the toilet in cold water because he didn't put the seat down? Or your cleaning up hair again from the sink because somehow he thought he got it all? (Really? How do you not see the black hair on the sink lip?) Or the irritation he shows because I said "I'll be down in 5min", an hour ago. (true story!) I think getting into your first year of marriage you really have no idea what to really expect. I know what I wanted our first year to be like - a two-story house, a black rod-iron fence, JD's squad car parked right out front for the whole world to see, him home at night helping me finish dinner and a little baby-bump he'd rub and talk to.  HA! That's what I thought I wanted (or maybe what I have been told I'm suppose to want)  Want to know what I got? I got middle-of-night I miss you & love you phone calls, stinky Kevlar to hand wash, missed holidays because he's on duty, a squad car I can't pull out of the driveway - (but I do operate the lights! (YES!) a downtown townhome that I live alone in and a man that loves me to enough to drive the hour and half home after his 2 a.m. shift just to hold me. All I really wanted - was for him to come home, so we can live a resemblance of a "normal" life.  I don't know what "normal" is, but for me it would mean less time in my car traveling to see him, and more time laying in bed with him. Well - just as we were deciding on a move date for me - JD got the call from District 9. He's coming home. Hang on - let me just say that again! Friends!! My husband is coming home! Two years! We've been waiting since February 2012. God is so good.

Saying we are excited/happy/bursting with happiness/joy/excitement & whatever other adjective you can come up with would be an understatement. I simply just cried after he got off the phone. To my poor dear husbands disbelief. ("Baby, aren't you happy?") All the emotions, struggles, fights, late-night drives, doubts, fears, good-byes - everything just came out in the form of tears - ever flowing emotional tears. All the struggles, all sacrifices, all the distance - all the loneliness - was all worth it. To get to this place - and what's crazy - the tough times are really just starting.

Yes - yes it is. Our love, our story is proof. It really is worth it.

We've picked up looking for houses, and are going to attempt to hit 10 open-houses this weekend and pick out pumpkins for our carvings. Halloween really is JD's favorite holiday. Oh- friends a happy happy day to you - grab your loved ones and tell them how much you love them.

XOXO - Cas

Wedding Photo by the amazing Ravetta Photography. Love is worth it design by yours truly.

Confessions of a Rebrand {Building a Brand}

This year has been so eye opening and so moving and so crazy. Yet at the same time, I feel as if I have a double personality - as if who I am during different times of the day changes - influenced by what type of work I'm doing. My court assignment and my new boutique business. I want to say goodbye to the Court assignment and follow my heart and my dreams and sink every minute and every last dime into this little dream of mine - but let's face it - we all  have bills and they come in like clockwork. Right now isn't the time and that's okay. It's not where I want to be - but it's where I'm at and I know I will be there someday. I opened up my new Restoration Hardware and as always - the first thing I do is read Gary's letter. 

“Too often we are asked for the facts, the proof of what happened before, so we can justify with certainty what will happen next. By doing so, we modify our curiosity to focus on reporting the news versus making it. ... We become victims of other people’s thinking instead of discovering and developing our own unique and authentic point of view. ... We are encouraged to turn off the bright light of curiosity to live in the shadows of certainty, reducing our risk of losing, while making certain that winning will never be in our future.”

— Gary Friedman

I am curious - and I don't want the past to keep repeating itself - where I am too afraid to take my small business to the next level. I've made the decision to rebrand. To hire the professionals needed to make this happen - I don't know how - I don't know when - It's all so new and very scary - but it's going to happen.

Let's Do This!

Happy Mothers Day!

About a month ago I had this great idea/project for Mothers Day. I'm so excited to finally share it with all of you! Those of you that are close to me know that since my parents' divorce I haven't been especially close with my mom. I was thinking about all the special women in my life that have helped guide me and encourage me in her absence. I wanted a way to celebrate mothers, but also to celebrate those that step in for people like me to give them their healthy dose of "motherly love". I wanted to celebrate with a simple setup while giving special attention to details.

To make the gift tags, I embossed the design onto thick sparkle cardstock, with heavy gold glitter embossing powder.  These adorned the gift sacks that went out with each card order placed this year, as well as all the handmade gift bag orders.

I created the stationary myself, layering it with a beautiful velvet pattern and a thick pink cardstock. I embellished each invite with 3D flowers & ribbons.

I want to thank everyone for all their card & flower orders this year! It was so much fun reading your answers and designing & creating your custom cards. Nothing brings me more joy!!

Much Love

- Cas

MAKING THINGS HAPPEN 2013

Whoa - Where to even start -

Did I ever think that I would ever in a million years share my deepest desires, secrets and fears with a total and complete stranger? Uh - no way.

But you know what? We were 6 hours into day 1 of the conference and that's exactly what I was doing. Here I am - this always pulled together, always "seemingly" smiling, happy, successful, legal mind working for the high court spilling my guts to complete strangers and the amazing Lara Casey cheering me on and making me do it again and again.

There is so much swimming in my head right now and so much on my heart. Overwhelmed? you betcha. But my ass is sure fired up!

I took the craziest road trip, all by myself, last week to Chapel Hill, NC, for the Making Things Happen Conference. I love to drive and driving through the mountains - I was ready to clear my head and pull myself together.  I drove about 700ish miles one-way in my loaded down Celica to figure out what this "craziness" in my head is and how to get it out. It was time to do the hard work on my heart and learn a few business tips on the way from the gals that know business better than anyone. MTH is about facing your fears - that you are worthy of your biggest dreams - yes - I am worthy of my biggest dreams - no matter how crazy, far-fetched or far away they may seem.

I spent two days with complete strangers - I stayed in my hotel room every night and ordered pizza so I could go over my notes and just soak it all in. That first night, I went to my hotel room and called my new husband and just sobbed. I sobbed harder than I think he has ever heard - he was speechless to everything I had to say - he couldn't believe the ideas I was throwing out, and he was overwhelmed by the big dreams I had. All he could say was "baby, I just want you to be happy."

Not only was I afraid to tell anyone my ideas and big dreams - but I was afraid to admit them to myself. How does someone who has spent a small fortune on education and half their current life in pursuit of degrees, titles and a super profession say I give it all up - to start fresh and start over? Well - friends - I didn't start over - but I did start fresh. I won't walk away from my assignment with the Court until I know I'm ready - but I did admit to myself that retiring from there is not my big dream or life-plan. I want so much more from life than a 9-5 that inspires no one and is working to fulfill someone else's dreams - while I dream on the side.

I admitted that I love flowers and I am good enough to offer them. 

I admitted that I deeply fear losing my husband to his job. Everyday he leaves and I never ever know if he is coming home - but I admitted that forcing him to leave a job that he loves would make him miserable and so so unhappy. My husband was born to be a State Trooper - being anything less than that would make him miserable. It was always his dream - from the day we met back in January 2006. If his job takes him away from me - I know he was happy and doing what he loves. Its so hard to type that - the thought brings me to tears. But keeping him from doing what he loves - is worse. As long as I am blessed with him here on Earth I will support him, stand beside and listen when he needs me too. I accept that his job is dangerous - I accept that every kiss goodbye could be the last - I no longer fear losing him. I trust him. I trust his decisions and his extensive training.

In that conference room we made lists. When I say lists, I mean lots of lists. I realized who truly supports and encourages me - but most importantly I realized who doesn't. Lists of ideas, distractions, what fires me up and so many more lists. My fears? - yupp made a list of those too and you know what? They don't scare me nor most importantly they don't hold me back. I learned to "feel the fear and do it anyway"

I admitted how afraid I am of what my friends, family and colleagues would say. You know what? I frankly don't give a dam anymore. It's been a little hectic setting boundaries, rules and a ton of hard, hard work - clocking the hours to make it happen - but I'm a Taurus - and we are as stubborn and dam determined as they come. So - if you read this and think I'm crazy - yeah  - I probably am - but that's what they said about Leonardo De Vinci, Mozart and Walt Disney. So - please- if labeling me crazy puts me in the same category as them - by all means - label away! But guess what? I'm MAKING THINGS HAPPEN!

I'm a small business owner. I own a boutique wedding-planning business that strives to help couples plan the greatest day of their lives; I want my clients to enjoy their day, and experience every single moment, every single emotion. I want to give them peace of mind so they can start their marriage on a foundation they can continuously build on. My life is too short to wake up everyday and go to a job that doesn't support my dreams. I'm saying to no to self-doubt, fear driven decisions and a big HELL NO to comparison. I'm saying yes to a love-filled life full of laughter, random happy-dances and making-out with my husband. I'm saying yes to a life full of Faith and the gifts that God has given me to use and help others with - I'm saying yes to God's amazing plan for me.

To all you lovely people that took the time to read this - I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Don't be shy - leave a comment and tell me what's on your heart. What are you saying yes to?

Here's to making things happen!

XOXO - Cas

Making Things Happen Conference photo Courtesy of the amazing Caitlin Sullivan

Choices {Married; Living Apart}

Type. Delete. Type. Delete. That's how this post started so many times. When I tell people I'm married, and my husband doesn't live with me I get this look -- its hard to describe but I'll just say it's rude.

My husband is an Illinois State Trooper.  We've been together since college. Back in 2006; in the days when I wanted to be a hot shot STL attorney and he wanted to be a Child Psychiatrist. When we both worked full time, went to school full time and had a date night a week in the library of the University. Dinners included flashcards he would quiz me on for my legal Latin classes and 8 months of LSAT prep. We struggled for so long and waited for so long for the State Police to call. It was hard. The hurdles, and jumps and tests you take to become a Trooper still amazes me. But he passed them all & went to the academy. Six long months of not speaking during the week and only seeing each other Friday and Saturday nights. Graduation day, couldn't of come sooner. There has to be openings in a district to get assigned there.  The ISP district I live in rarely has openings. So he picked the closest district he could to me - about an hour and a half away. He immediately put himself on the transfer list to come home - but it is a first come first serve list. He was No. 12 on the list. We found a tiny 1 bedroom apartment for dirt cheap for him in the little town he lives in & I rent a nice west-side 2 bedroom that's about 5 minutes from the Courthouse.  He wants to come back to Springfield - and not put all our furniture in storage and force me to drive that hour and a half every day. Its a choice we made together. A sacrifice we both make.

With that I leave you with our reason - because we love each other and after all - it is just an hour and a half. Love is worth it.

with love

- Cass

 Photo above by St. Louis' own Ravetta Photography.