Today will be Awesome! + A Sneak Peek {Striving for Perfection}

Today will be awesome.

Wait. Let's say it again.

Today will be awesome. Yes. It will be awesome. I will get my to do's done, I will check those boxes, I will write a blog post, I will -bring-myself-out-of-whatever-funk-this-is-I-have right. this. second. Just typing that and sharing it (embarrassingly) with you all - is completely freeing. Yes. I have been overwhelmed lately. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I launched this blog, my business, and now my new brand that we have been working so tirelessly on. My goal has never been to get bigger and busier - I just want to get better. I truly want to be an artist. Handling my August 16 contracted wedding has taught me so much about my business and about myself. It was a total-made-from-scratch-design-and artist-and completely awesome and original wedding. I loved handling everything. I loved having the family and couple completely trust me with their ideas, vision and let me go to town. Before I go to far and get off track - let's get back to burnout. I ate, slept, and breathed this wedding. I went out of my way to ensure no stone was left unturned - and I went too long without asking for help.

You see, in my quest for perfection for this amazing couple - I lost sight of myself. I let days go without showering, without taking my hair out of whatever bun contraption kept it secured that day, without sleeping, and without proper nutrition. I needed help, and I was afraid the moment I asked for it - people would think I couldn't handle it. I was afraid someone would screw something up. I was terrified the couple wouldn't like it because it wasn't me tying ribbons or placing the stems in the vases.  

I've been afraid for my business - and I still am. I want to be a boutique. I pride myself on being small. I want my clients to know that when they hire me for planning and/or florals they know it is me that is putting it together - that the ideas we talk about and my suggestions are what is actually going into their dream day. I kept this notion in my head that if anyone did it but me, it would be wrong or not good enough. What I learned is this: it's not special having great ideas. Guess what? Everyone has great ideas. What makes one idea more special than another is the person behind the idea and their ability to make it happen. What made me a great planner on August 16th, was that we had to flip the Ceremony space into the Reception space within 45 minutes. My amazing team did it and guess what? I showed them what to do and just like magic they made it happen. I walked down the table rows and made minor adjustments. I remember turning in circles, thinking "what still needs done? What needs fixed?" It was done. It was right and it was absolutely breathtaking. I let go of perfection - and when I did - I saw amazing beauty. Not just in the florals and arrangements and tablescapes; but in the team I hired, working together, dancing and having fun while working their butts off to see my vision come alive.  That's perfection.

As promised; a little sneak peek from the wedding. The custom backdrop made just for my couple. Isn't it just lovely?

Today will be awesome, because I am letting go of perfection and embracing imperfection in all it's glory. How about you? Any of you struggle with this as much as I do?

A very special thank you to the team who pulled off Saturday's event.

Christopher Hammon, Rebecca Riva, Ashley and Joe Yokley and last but not least; my amazing and ever so handsome husband.

I love you all.

WTH: It's almost June.

Wait hold up; It's nearly June. Half the year - down the hatch. I had dreams, goals and big plans and lots of ideas for 2014. What. the. hell. happened? 2014 - where did you go? Did I fall into a cave? A small hole never to be seen again? It certainly wasn't a cave of wanders like Aladdin. (p.s. where can I find one of those caves??) Look at my desk? I can NOT remember the last time it looked like this - ok wait - maybe the day we moved. But this. mess. is craziness!!I have been so wrapped up in our new house and making every square inch picture perfect - that I've lost track of my dreams and goals for my business. Its surviving; but it's not thriving. I have got to get back on track. I have been so busy being "busy" that I've left a lot of back end and important things that drive traffic and let it go by the wayside. Well friends - it ends today. This post - is mostly for myself - because to be accountable - I have to put it on here - I'm starting fresh - I'm starting over. I'm writing my goals down and I'm checking my list, and checking it twice. Sure I have tons of excuses, moving, organizing, OCD syndrome, life changes, watering the new sod (which by the way should be illegal and considered slave labor!) - all are viable excuses for my absence. But really - I think I've been procrastinating the hard work - the real work. I've let fear come into my heart and I settled for the right now. I opened my devotions and prayer journal for the first time in over a month. God's love flooded me and He reminded me of all the things I have planned that doesn't include a high-rise corner office for the next 30 years. My heart has other plans and dammit my heads gonna start listening and making those plans.

2014 - get back - I'm grabbing you and taking you down. I bought Whitney English's year designer and have barely opened it. It's currently sitting beautifully on my desk and I'm diving head first, right this second. Is anyone else looking back on the year and thinking this same thing? We can all use some encouragement and I'd love to encourage you on your journey! Leave a comment below or send me some sugar at cass@cassandradattoli.com 

OUR ANNIVERSARY 2013 + ISP UPDATE {One Year}

One year ago today I married this man. This man that I have shared my life with since January 2006. A man that I can close my eyes, hang on to and lean as far back as I can go, because I know he's got me and he's not going to let go. I think we make it look easy. I see a lot of people rolling their eyes at us at the store, because we still hold-hands, he still shamelessly tickles me in public, he still opens the car-door for me and I still put my nose in his neck to breathe in that reassurance that only he can give me.  We do make it look easy - but it's not. It so much work.  I think being a newlywed is hard. You see all these amazingly happy pictures of newlyweds plastered all over the place and you want it to be that way - all the time. But the reality is it's not that way - all the time. Everyone thinks that because you're newlyweds it's all about love and honeymooning, holding-hands and kissing. Or maybe the wedding industry and magazines paint it to be this picturesque scene of the newly married couple walking down the beach, laughing and just gloriously happy. Ha! Gloriously happy? If your like me .. your thinking ... what the hell does that mean? Where's the realistic ads about how you want to claw his eyes out the first time you sit on the toilet in cold water because he didn't put the seat down? Or your cleaning up hair again from the sink because somehow he thought he got it all? (Really? How do you not see the black hair on the sink lip?) Or the irritation he shows because I said "I'll be down in 5min", an hour ago. (true story!) I think getting into your first year of marriage you really have no idea what to really expect. I know what I wanted our first year to be like - a two-story house, a black rod-iron fence, JD's squad car parked right out front for the whole world to see, him home at night helping me finish dinner and a little baby-bump he'd rub and talk to.  HA! That's what I thought I wanted (or maybe what I have been told I'm suppose to want)  Want to know what I got? I got middle-of-night I miss you & love you phone calls, stinky Kevlar to hand wash, missed holidays because he's on duty, a squad car I can't pull out of the driveway - (but I do operate the lights! (YES!) a downtown townhome that I live alone in and a man that loves me to enough to drive the hour and half home after his 2 a.m. shift just to hold me. All I really wanted - was for him to come home, so we can live a resemblance of a "normal" life.  I don't know what "normal" is, but for me it would mean less time in my car traveling to see him, and more time laying in bed with him. Well - just as we were deciding on a move date for me - JD got the call from District 9. He's coming home. Hang on - let me just say that again! Friends!! My husband is coming home! Two years! We've been waiting since February 2012. God is so good.

Saying we are excited/happy/bursting with happiness/joy/excitement & whatever other adjective you can come up with would be an understatement. I simply just cried after he got off the phone. To my poor dear husbands disbelief. ("Baby, aren't you happy?") All the emotions, struggles, fights, late-night drives, doubts, fears, good-byes - everything just came out in the form of tears - ever flowing emotional tears. All the struggles, all sacrifices, all the distance - all the loneliness - was all worth it. To get to this place - and what's crazy - the tough times are really just starting.

Yes - yes it is. Our love, our story is proof. It really is worth it.

We've picked up looking for houses, and are going to attempt to hit 10 open-houses this weekend and pick out pumpkins for our carvings. Halloween really is JD's favorite holiday. Oh- friends a happy happy day to you - grab your loved ones and tell them how much you love them.

XOXO - Cas

Wedding Photo by the amazing Ravetta Photography. Love is worth it design by yours truly.

HEAD FIRST

I've decided to dive in - head first and as the running world says "just do it". I'm diving head first into something that has felt so right, for so long. I did it - I bought the rights to the domain name where all my rants, reads, favorites and a little bit a crazy will sit out here in cyber space - for all to see. I bought the rights to dattolievents.com where my blog will sit and the rights to cassandradattolievents.com where my webpage will sit. I also signed onto a professional blogger platform and have started a national planner certification process! YAY!! So I have started my journey into the wedding planning industry. I don't want to say I'm destined - but I am sure dam determined to be an inspiration - no scratch that - to be the hardest working - funnest - most dependable - most supportive - most out-of-the-box thinking planner and coordinator any about-to-be-hitched couple would want to work with! Yes - I think that's it! I have some big ideas up my sleeve and some huge dreams that I have kept buried inside me for far far too long. I've met several potential clients and lots of vendors that are super excited about me officially having an open sign.

I told my best friend last week that I was officially doing it - tax papers - trademarking - the whole works - and her first reaction was "omg, you were born to be a planner." When someone that has known you for so long - drops that on you - you know your doing the right thing. It feels so right, it feels so good. And although I'm not exactly where I want to be right now - I truly believe that someday I will be. It just feels so right - for it not to be.

I leave you with this little photo of us on our wedding night - representing everything I want my new little business to become. A little glam, lots of happiness and so much unconditional love - the kind you close your eyes lean back and just know the person your holding onto has you and won't let you go.

With Love -

- Cas